Regret

 



                                                         I, I, I, Come to this wake
                                                         murmurs and mumblings
                                                            sloshings to and fro
                                                           faint twines to moans
                                                            rising up from below
                                                            a muffled violin intro
.
                                                         I, I, I, Feel this mistake
                                                        thrashing and rumblings
                                                           thoughts half unfold
                                                        weightless buoyant arms
                                                          floating sponged foam
                                                          a sighing heavy drone
 .
                                                         I, I, I, Sense this quake
                                                         turmoils and bubblings
                                                         hot veins meeting cold
                                                          surging to the surface
                                                           heaving tides in roll~
                                                         leave stranded the soul. 



                                                               © 2011- Mea.



Leisure

Birds have no more

leisure time then I.

Bustling, hustling

freeways in the sky.

Before dawn awakens

hear their shrill.  

Hearts still beating 

rappid when their still. 

No rest for the weary 

winged to heed. 

 They carry on-

another nest to weave.

Peeping, weeping 

hungry mouths to feed. 

Frantic- hunting bugs 

and worms or seed. 

Flitter flutter  

all day long, 

still take time to 

sing a song. 

Birds have no more 

leisure time then I. 

# 106. Mea.





Brother foot steps



From the Ocean to the woodlands

how I ever hear your call

Those whispering soft murmurs

all the winter thru the fall.

Your sighs like shifting voices

they sway me to and fro 

Hands like feathered shadows 

they guide me where to go.

The Earth, her breath within me

Her winds my sail and song

Algonquin spirits keeping me

where I ( feel ) I belong.

It's here this soil you once stood

ancient days ago

It's here this ground I stand now

remembering all I've known. 

Of love and life you praised it all

this earth we pray and bleed on.

It's here that you once lived and died 

betrayed for our own freedom.

Mighty warriors of my past

who's truth became a fiction

The blood once shed upon this land

remains your benediction.

Oh' rocky land _Oh' Northern shores

nourish me my mother.

My heart, my soul,  New England is

I love her like no other!

 ©. #168 Mea.

At What Cost?

AT WHAT COST

"Freedom, why the forlorn look?"

asked Liberty perched on her hook.

"I sense your glumness in the air
A rather heavy thick despair".

"That's true, it feels a sort of heat"
Speaks Independence, from his seat.
"But conquer we will - this battle forth."
"Aye_ says Freedom, At what cost?"
 
"Whatever do you mean-what cost?"
Tolls Liberty, all in a froth.
"Proud and sure we keep this fight
pursuing what we feel our right."

"We must rule - or then be ruled!"
Independence ridicules.
"In control - we'll not be bossed."
Aye,_ says Freedom, At what cost?"
 
"So tell.....what would 'you' have us do?"
 asked both of them to Freedom, who
sighs deeply with his thoughts pellmell
"I have - says he, just this to tell"....

"They scream for INDEPENDENCE who
is bound himself  to me and you.
To LIBERTY, they raise the flame
then burn what little hope remains
and  I
yes, I - 'let FREEDOM ring!
some shout eternal on the wing.
Convinced that I alone -some lord
the epitome all life is stored."
(sigh)
"Truth is.........
Forsaking God and Holy law
Our first intent _will be our fall.
We three such hypocratic  force,
what if triumphant....At what cost?"

"He's lost his gut.....or lost his mind"
jibes Liberty "Where is your spine?'
Our cause is noble as my bell"
("Your Pride, says Freedom- starts to swell.")

Cries Liberty "your fear is loud
and smells of a decaying shroud.
Support is ours, there's little lost."
(Nay, says Freedom - great the Cost!")

"Enough your doom.... you make me laugh" 
smirks Independence, at half mast.
"We've all the world now at a glance."
("Take care, says Freedom - Arrogance.")

BOOMS Independence..."Don't you dare!
We three are One, this cause you share.
You too bear weight upon this cross."
 Aye, says Freedom - At What Cost ?"

#136 Mea.
© #136 Mea. 

Above Arms Reach

Above Arms Reach

I have gone
is there yearning . . grief

I have gone

Is that a sigh . . relief ?

In life I cared little

for much I had wronged

I wish I could tell thee

But now I have gone.

Mourn for me not, nor fret for my being

Where I've gone

tis no injustice, sickness, nay

mental anguish all be damned.

Where I've gone

pain has no teeth, nor

vile thirst for living death.

Where I've gone

memories- be they good or bad

now-my history books to search.. learn.

Where I've gone

more loving teachers ever exist

Angels you call them.. nay

they are saints of our soul.

Where I've gone

unworthy as I be
yet - I watch

each thump of your heart . . each beat

Where I've gone 

there _ to the right of your eyes

and just above arms reach_ 

Listen... listen... hear the voices...rejoices

feel the wind reborn ...my breath amid their song 

For I'll know how to love thee 

when you reach where I've gone.  

 © #117 Mea. 

**REMINISCENCE**

Guarded gates on wings of angels
Cherubum attend your calls
mirriads of spirits gather
begging entrance to your halls
  will they be denied......

Devine intervention whispers
I've never felt this earth my home
then once again reflections crystalize
turn everything I've always known..
to mythical lies......

I long for that distant yet familiar shore
As I dangle and stretch on that silver cord.
I know I could go the distance
If I severed all reminiscence..
But something holds me back ~
limitations on my shoulder tap
once again they remind me
I'm not free...not yet free.

In your mighty castle deep
High in clouds beyond our door
The wind sings her secret song
one we've heard and known before
But do not recognize...

Dormant arms reach out for you
Don't you see them anymore?
Have they become common sight
like scattered shells upon a shore
victims of the tides...

We long for that distant yet familiar shore
As we dangle and stretch on our silver cords.
We know we could go the distance
if we severed all reminiscence..
But something holds us back ~
limitations on our shoulders tap
Once again they remind us
we are not free...not yet free.

 © #168 Mea.

I think I shall sit this one out.
**************************

I think I shall sit this one out
too much ego infestings lurking about
prey on the discord, play up the doubts
I think I shall sit this one out.

Hidden well- behind screens virtuality
transformed braver than actuality
spewing shards of toxic mentalia
counting kudos, invested inferior

intrusion delusions are causing a Bout
I think I shall sit this one out.

Self-incriminating intellectuals.
un-intelligible all their nonsensicals
a melee and rape of vocabular
alphabetized verbal dislexia
dismembered distempers foam at the mouth
I think I shall sit this one out.

Uninspired, illinformed visceral things
regurgitate yesterdays stalkings
a pungent cruel brew of dysfunctions
feeding frenzy of empty assumptions.
dishonest distortions strengthen the shout
I think I shall sit this one out.
Too much ego infestings lurking about
prey on the discord, play up the doubts
I think I shall sit this one out.

 ©2008(Mea.)

Solitude for Solace

    

Solitude for Solace
~~~~~~~~~~~

**Running carefree through the doors

nothing matters anymore.

In the cellars-seeth and surge

we learn and we emerge.

But some things
you can't kill.

And the *moon casts her shadows where she will.**
~~ 

Alone at night you'll find her

waiting near.

She'll light your gloom uncovering
what's hidden there.
She finds your space, she knows your
times, there's no escape.
So why do we keep pushing off what's
meant to be ___we're running late.

~~And the moon casts her shadows where she will.
No matter if your running scared or bravely standing still.
And the snares of her shadows aren't the worst--
It's what becomes of them...when she thirsts.~~

She provides the ocean tides of gravity.
The push and pulling at our liquid sanity.
Echos ancient prophecies for souls on wing.
lulling us into a careless state of being...
                                            for our transparency.

She don't care what trivial
plans you scheme
She'll turn them inside out--make
 you want to scream
Tidal waves are rolling graves--
Her strength is such--
What remains of what we claimed
our destiny....
Is out of touch.

**And the moon casts her shadows where she will.
No matter if your running scared or bravely standing still
And the snares of her shadows aren't the worst
It's what becomes of them...when she thirsts.**

 ©. #86 Mea.

THE BATTLE 

So sorry my roaming romantic one
We've fought your damn battle,and I have won.
You forced it's start and I played by your rules
We fought and I conquered and turned you the fool.

I told you not to question my skill
of mind on what matters-my power of will.
But to battle with you, you begged if I'd dare
in distaste I turned head, and started the stare.

Dead' was my love for you - seems long ago.
Yet you kept insisting some twinkling would show.
I warned you and hoped that you would'nt persist
you dared me.... till I could no longer resist.
*So up with our weapons
without last replies
We started
The Great Battle of the Eyes*

Ever so slowly, about face to face
seconds turned minutes all droned into space
we stared on and on - this suspended spot
3-D tuned 1-D -a black and white dot

The clock tick'a tockin, became a base drum
my hands to my feet a most unpleasant numb
peripheral vision then shrunk to a dime
your face took the image as some creepy mime.
*OH' had you just listened
now it's you demise
to suffer the great battle of the eyes*

One brief little moment, I thought I might loose
when the twitch of your lids danced a jiggety boo
But composure ensued as the thought then occured
that this at last could be our final last words.

You 'finally' broke contact, stepped out of your role
as my indifference entered your soul.
The battle I hoped would not go this far
but forever your eyes will now carry my scar.

I told you my roaming romantic fake
I left you abruptly-just for your sake.
You should'nt have tested my hasty good-bye
to save you
the Great Battle of the Eyes.
 ©
 #15. Mea.
1975

"Just a little ditty"


We Three
~~~

We 3 sisiters, though sisters be
eye to eye we're naught to be
just as width and hieght can varry
most our thoughts are quite contrary
We so differ in our ways
as black to white or night from day
Yet in anger..not a word
between us is ever heard.
The 2- more likely to agree
if any flaw, it would be me
And yet we 3 are never far
to pick how each the other are
the same in all those other things
that prove genetics aren't some whim
Cause once together  be assured
we talk, talk, talk then talk some more.

 © Mea. 2010

One.

ONE
or
 nocturnal psychosis


I think, I thunk, I think I saw
another one go out the door
Now I don't know who's in or out
who's left within or gone about
"WHO's In COMMAND _ if one there be"?
I only know the One of me.

3 AM, I hear a peep
voices round, wont let me sleep
Thoughts run rampart to and fro
A tangled, twisted, creeping show
"Just shut them off", I say to me
but in reply...which one of me?

*I think, I thunk, I think I saw
another one go out the door
Now I don't know who's in or out
who's left within or gone about
"Who's in Command _ if One there be"?
I only know the one of me.

Now where'd I put that damnded thing?
I swear I placed it there, I sing.
from room to room - there's something wrong
Then all at once, my memories gone.
Next I find I'm sitting there
not knowing how or when or where.
Inside what I don't recognize
confronted by this odd demise.
"Who's in Command _if One there be"?
Relentless pests, just let me be!

In leathered chair He sits from me
Wondering who-of us he'll meet
"How have you been"? He says on cue
addressing which- I have no clue.
She answers "We've been fine", in jest
and terror strikes me through mid chest.
Their sleep disturbed, a dread untold
They scramble now to grab a'hold.
You say "we're fine" but who is we?
He asks the one or two or three


I think, I thunk, I think I saw
another one go out the door.
Now I don't know who's in or out
who's left behind or gone about.
"Who's in Command _ if One there be"?
I only know the One of me.
~~~~

  © # 113. Mea.

 
 


  In Spite of All
~~~~~~~~~

That night we met I sensed in time, somehow our lives would be entwined
Yet never did I percieve my being here
Believe in what I say as true, my care runs deep and wide for you
though scarce the time I've had to let it show.
I never meant to change your life by adding burdens,doubts or strife
But guilty as charged I am, of the above.
But if this child I carry now could bring you joy someway, somehow
that's all that I could possibly hope for.
I'll never ask a thing of you,  go your way - if so you choose
this heart will hold no blame nor enmity.
Just remember this one thing...no power on this earth could bring
me to destroy this child inside of me.
And though this choice you may despise, I beg of you to realize
No greater love there is - than for a child.
The paths we walk are ours to choose and out of making love with you
we now face the consquence of fate.
Contrary to popular belief, conception is a life complete
a human life accomplished there and then.
 Whether you believe in God - buddah, zen or some demi-god
a life is life no matter where or when.
But I'm not here to preach or pounce, I'm just freeing thoughts abounce
in and round the corners of my mind.
In closing now I've one more thought; No love can be sold nor bought
At least not love that dares to be true.
So if you hold no love for me, then go your way with conscience free
I'll always wish the best in life for you.
And if inside your mind you keep_questions on what fate I'll meet
Then be assured, I'm bound to survive.
I'll love this child you've given me, with all the love that love can be
So together we'll go on -In Spite of all.
 ©.# 84 Mea.*(Written in 1983)* 

Beachwood

 


              
*Beachwood*

You and I - we'll get by, of course we will
Time and tide allows us few standstills
We've got our paths to tread and highways
I wish you all the best,
                           and by the way...
Every time I see the rising sun
shinning on my windowsill
I'll place my hand within it's warming rays
and feel your hand in mine_ I will.
And every time I see a dew drop
sliding down a blade of green
I'll think of all the laughter and tears we shared
and how you made my worst days seem_not so mean.

And we'll get by alone, of course we will
Our stuborness assures us this.
Both reaching out for something, something.
I hope you find it,
                           Oh one more thing....

Those times when my soul seeks the peace
of the woodlands that I often search
I'll think of all the dreams we found in common
I knew your yearning _ felt its worth.
 And each time I see the setting sun
 shimmering on the ocean tides
 Your wonderous smile will creep into my mind
 with all the joy and warmth it hides_deep inside.

So we'll do fine alone, you know we will.
Our fight for survival is strong
Both holding the sources of our own needs
Someday we'll gain them all _ alone...
                                            and all along,
Each night when the moonbeam cast
shadows on my still form.
I'll have many thoughts in mind _ of you.
In calmest night or raging storm
imbedded in my memory warm
my thoughts at least...can be with you.

 ©#94/95 Mea.